When Darin and I got married it was always fun to have long talks when we would have to drive long distances to visit family or go on vacation and although one of the many things we talked about were future children's names we liked and how many kids we may want, the idea of having children was not in my realm of thought (to be honest I wasn't much of a child lover and the idea of giving birth always grossed me out) and how I wanted to have my baby was definitely not in my field of vision either, for all i knew there was one way to have your baby and that was to go to the hospital be induced and get an epidural OR having a c-section if (heaven forbid) something were wrong. So when I would decide to have my baby naturally it was just as much of a shock to me as it may have been to others.
When Darin and I moved to Utah we started to become aware of things we didn't think much about before, we realized the importance of buying fresh, organic, whole foods and from there the desire to keep learning and educating myself only grew.Having Netflix jump started my "obsession" of watching documentaries and while visiting my friend Stephanie one day she introduced the documentary "The Business of Being Born", I was honestly so shocked at how much I enjoyed and learned from watching it, It was after that that I decided I wanted to be educated and decide for myself how I would have my baby! I guess that is how my quest for more knowledge and ways of giving birth started although it wasn't for a couple more years that we would even consider "trying" to have a baby.
Jump ahead two years and here I was pregnant and ready to decide how I would have my baby. After quite a bit of research I decided I wanted to have my baby free of drugs and I wanted to bring him into the world without fearing labor, it is after all what we are meant to do and I knew god wouldn't make something so wonderful something we could not handle. I also decided I wanted Darin and I to take a hypnobirthing class to help educate myself and to learn breathing exercises to stay clam and relaxed while in labor.
As you can imagine Darin wasn't super thrilled with the idea of spending 3 hours for five Saturdays at some freaky hippie granola class teaching about breathing and fear releases, but after our first class he was hooked (we both were). We never imagined we would love something so much and learn even more than I already had. I loved everything about it, even the birth videos (to be honest they made me teary eyed and I started to love everything about babies and birth). After our classes were over the breathing and relaxation scripts had just begun, I had to practice my breathing and have Darin read scripts to me to help me relax and go "deeper" within my self to a state of total relaxation. every night I would do this to prepare for the birthing day of our little boy.
Oliver's "guess date" was April 15th, but my midwife was almost positive he wouldn't show up until a week or so later. When Sunday April 15th came and went with no signs of labor I was pretty sure it would take another week or so as well. Oliver had other plans, he was done cookin and ready to come out. Monday April 16th, at about 3:00 am I woke up feeling a lot of pressure, I was kind of nervous I wouldn't know when I was in labor and although this new feeling that had woken me up in the middle of the night wasn't the typical braxton hicks I had felt throughout the second half of my pregnancy, I also was not one hundred percent sure I was actually in labor. I got up and took a warm bath and tried to see if they would fade away or become less steady but no such luck. at around 5:00 am I finally woke Darin up and told him I might be in labor, he also didn't think I was and decided to go to work that morning with the intentions of coming home if I needed him. a little after Darin left for work I decided to give my midwife a call, she said if they continue that I could come in around 10 if I still wasn't sure.When 10 am rolled around and the pressure I was experiencing was still going strong I decided to give Darin a call to head home from work so we could head to the midwifes office and let her check me out. I got there and sure enough I was dilated 4 cm and completely effaced, I was in labor! the midwife who checked me was not the one I had been seeing through out my labor, and she was the one on call that day, I was a little bummed my midwife was not there but I was also excited my little guy was on his way. After she gave me a high five and told me I could head to the hospital (Yes, although I wanted to have my baby naturally I still decided to do it in the hospital since it was my first baby and my mom had to have emergency c-sections for both my sister and I) I headed to the lobby to meet Darin, although I was in labor I still wanted to have a little fun, so I pretended like it was nothing and told him "let's go..." "... to the hospital!" hah he was thrilled of course. Darin and I headed home to pack our bags ( yea we hadn't done that yet...) and go to Whole Foods to stock up on some yummy after birth snacks (and before birth snacks, I was hungry, yo. but I ended up only being able to eat a granola bar).
Once we arrived at the hospital we got settled in to our labor and delivery suite and got all of our information put into the system, they wanted to monitor the baby and my contractions for a bit, I wasn't a fan of the idea and asked if I could just hang out on my birthing ball and maybe get in the tub they had, but they insisted.. I let them monitor us for a bit, but I must have gotten lost in translation because what was supposed to be a 15 min. or less monitoring was like 30 + minutes, I remember telling Darin I wanted to get off the dang bed! So I did, I took the little strappy thing off my belly and got in the tub to soak, After that the nurse and the on call midwife came in to see how I was doing and to tell me I could only soak for 30 minute intervals so they could keep monitoring us. I also wasn't a fan of this, but I decided to choose my "battles" since I wasn't really "hurting" at the moment.
Around one pm the midwife came in and asked if she could check me, I decided to let her since I still wasn't really feeling anything too intense and I was curious as to if I had dilated any further. When she checked me I was at 6 cm and I recall the midwife saying she was surprised I was that far along because I wasn't showing it (I guess at 6 cm I was supposed to be screaming or something?). She asked if she could break my water, I declined since I was ONLY at 6 cm and wanted to go a while longer and let it break on it's own. After that I got into the tub again and kept doing this for the next hour or so, at this point I knew my little guys entrance into the world was going to be sometime soon, the contractions started getting pretty intense and I remember leaning on Darin for support and holding his hand tight while in the tub. When they had me get out of the tub the next time the midwife wanted to check me again to see where I was now that It was starting to show on my face that I was further along, I was at 8 cm, after this point things started to become hazy and trying to recall it and put a time frame on things is near impossible everything just started to mesh into one big blur and I honestly had no idea how long it took me to get from 8 cm to 10, It seemed quick and slow at the same time. I know that probably doesn't make any since, but it does. It was during those 2 cm that I needed Darin the most, I could tell exactly when the surges were coming on and I tried my hardest to put my relaxation techniques to use and I know they helped me but It was very intense and I remember every time a surge would come on I'd wrap my arms around Darin's neck and whimper/groan, and I know a couple times I told him I didn't think I could do it ( Although labor isn't bad like some people make it out to be, I am not super woman okay) He was so supportive and told me I could do it and that Oliver would be here soon. Once I was 10 cm and ready to bear down the midwife started to really bug me with the things she would say to me, although she knew I wanted to have a natural birth and nothing was endangering me or my baby she started telling me to hold my breath and push and that if I couldn't do that then she could use forceps to pull him out. I was horrified, I told her noway and that we were fine! She then told me if I couldn't do it we would have to have medical intervention and then, the icing on the cake, after pushing till I was blue in the face like she insisted, she tells me that it could take another 2 hours for him to get out and did I want the epidural? ( for any mom, whether you had your baby naturally or you got an epidural )when someone puts a time limit on you like that and 2 hours none the less, you want to die! You are so exhausted!! I just wanted to cry I was so close at that point to take the epidural, but it was my sweet love who said "Syd, you can do this, he will be here soon" and sure enough it wasn't but another 5 or 10 minutes and a few more horrible blue in the face, hold your breath pushes that my sweet Oliver Bradford George was on my belly. I was flooded with emotion at this point and the amazing high of oxytocin was running through me more amazing than i can imagine any other high would be. I kept rubbing Oliver and saying "my baby, my baby" and Darin of course was bawling like a baby (my big softy :) .. ) I couldn't even see my son's face (because of the oxygen mask I had to wear) but I was in love. He came into the world at 6:35 pm, 9lbs 21 inches long and so so beautiful.
The next hour and a half wasn't peaches & cream and I wouldn't get to see my son's face or let him breast feed during that time either, I had to get stitched up and it took two doctors to do the job.I tore pretty badly when Oliver was on his way out (but I really have no doubt it was because the midwife made me push when I wasn't ready to). But stage four tearing and all I wouldn't change the way I decided to birth my son, in fact I plan to do it the same way for my next baby (whenever that will be) and I will do it at home and in the water!!
I am so grateful that I took charge of my birth and educated myself as to the things I wanted and didn't want for the most amazing day of mine and Darin's life. Knowledge is everything and no matter how anyone decides to have their baby or even may have to have their baby it is so great to know all that you can instead of letting the doctors and nurses tell you how it should be, because I'm sorry they don't always make the best decisions for us. No matter how you decide to have your baby it should be a decision you are proud of and one you feel comfortable with.I walked away from the experience with a realization of things I wanted to do differently the next time and things I wouldn't change.Woman are such strong and amazing beings and the experience of having my son only made me realize this so much more!
I have come to love birth and babies and everything on this topic so much, I just can't get enough of it and I get so excited when someone is pregnant. I also plan to get certified to be a doula and to teach Hypnobirthing to others I loved it so much! I cannot gush enough as to how this experience changed my life and now how having this sweet little boy is changing my life everyday!
I love you Oliver bear, you were worth every discomfort, every rip, every stitch and every uncomfortable healing moment afterwards!
Oliver on his Birthday
Oliver now, four months old
